Hitting a plateau or finding yourself in a rut can be challenging. With work, family, social and recreation demands pulling us in different directions we can find ourselves burned out. When you feel overwhelm coming on and you fight the desire to put it on autopilot, how do you get yourself out of the rut? For Jesse Itzler, former MTV VJ, rapper, successful jet rental leader and husband to the youngest female self-made billionaire, Sara Blakely, found himself floating to autopilot, he went extreme. Intentionally creating an experience that would test his commitment, his drive, his resiliency and his sanity, he hired a Navy Seal to live with him for 31 days and put him through the most grueling, physically and mentally demanding “workout” of his life.
Episode Summary: Perseverance of a Navy Seal Lessons by Jesse Itzler
Mark Podolsky, The Land Geek, is widely considered the Country’s most trusted and foremost authority on buying and selling raw, undeveloped land within the United States. He has completed over 5,000 unique transactions. This level of success is largely due to his core business philosophy – and one that translates to all business industries – – “Happy Customers Guaranteed.”
Mark is a fellow podcaster and host of one of the top rated Investment shows: The Best Passive Income Model and The Art of Passive Income.
Episode Summary: Embrace the Suck, Invest in Raw Land, and Grow By Letting Go with the Land Geek Mark Podolsky
Scott Beebe is the Founder and Head Coach of MyBusinessOnPurpose.com, where he liberates Small Business owners from the chaos of working IN their business. He is the host of the Business On Purpose podcast and created the Four Steps To Business Freedom, a six month group coaching experience built exclusively for Small Business owners to guide them in creating the systems and processes they need to get their businesses and lives back on track.
Episode Summary: Steps to Creating an On-Purpose Business and Be Liberated From The Chaos with Scott Beebe
Randy Komisar is a Venture Capitalist out of Silicon Valley, at Kleiner Perkins Caufield Byers, right there on Sandhill road. The heart and soul of tech investing. He is the former CEO of LucasArts Entertainment and Crystal Dynamics, and acted as “virtual CEO” for WebTV and GlobalGiving. He served as CFO of GO Corp. and senior counsel at Apple Computer, following a private practice in technology law. He is a Founding director of TIVO and a graduate of Harvard law school. Plus a great guy.
Episode Summary: Passion Pulls, Integrating Who We Are with What We Care About
Dr. K. Anders Ericsson is the co-author of Peak: Secrets From the New Science of Expertise. He is a Conradi Eminent Scholar and Professor of Psychology at Florida State University. He received his Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Stockholm, Sweden and completed a post-doctoral fellowship at Carnegie Mellon. He has worked with a Nobel Prize winner and written extensively on performance and increasing ability. Additionally, he is a Fellow of the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences and a member of the Royal Swedish Academy of Engineering Sciences.
Episode Summary: The New Science of Peak Performance with Author Dr. Anders Ericsson
Scott Alan Turner is an early retiree who went from “money moron” (his words) to self-made millionaire in 13 short years. He has been debt free since 2009 and now spends his time helping others become financial rock stars through his best-selling book, a talk radio show, and his podcast. He has been quoted on Forbes.com, Business Insider, Money magazine, CNBC, and U.S. News and World Report.
Episode Summary: From Money Moron to Self-Made Millionaire with Scott Alan Turner
Dr. Sharon Spano has a PhD in Human and Organizational Systems and is an author, a corporate business strategist, a work force expert, and a professional speaker. Her mission is to empower business leaders and entrepreneurs to maximize performance, improve employee engagement, AND increase bottom-line results. We all want results right?
Her new book is The Pursuit of Time and Money: Step Into Radical Abundance and Discover the Secret to a Meaningful Prosperous Life. We dive into that today.
Episode Summary: Time, Money and Avoiding the Chase with Dr. Sharon Spano
Matt Miller spent the first 9 years of his career as an Air Force pilot, before entering the private sector to work in both the medical device and advertising industries. While a top performer in the corporate world, his long-term desire was to be his own boss. And so, School Spirit Vending was born. Today he is a podcaster, a franchiser and a creates his own comic books encouraging kids to love reading.
Episode Summary: The Power of Consistency with Matt Miller
When I was six, Columbia Pictures released the original Karate Kid movie. I loved it, and used my newly learned karate skills to punish the neighbors fence. (oops!)
I now have a six- year-old. The Karate Kid has been on my mind this week. (yikes)
I started playing hockey my freshman year high school. I was terrible. I could barely stand. I spent more time crashing over the boards than celebrating goals. I can’t even remember my first goal, probably an accidental redirection off my stick, between my legs.
But I do remember my first coach. Bill Miller. He was a great guy. Loved hockey, loved the thrill of victory, but mostly loved seeing the development of hockey players.
My phone rings and I frown. “Not him!” Does this ever happen to you? True story, this just happened to me. I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling the way that I was. I like the caller, we get along very well and have a lot of similar interests, but for some reason, I felt an urge to not pick up the phone. How do you say “no” with respect?
In retrospect, it wasn’t him, it was his requests. Every time we talk he has something he “needs” my help on. And because I like and respect him, I have a hard time (ok impossible time) saying “no”; everything from relationship advice and moving furniture to last minute rides and finishing projects at work.
Boundaries are tricky aren’t they?
Even when you determine that saying “no” is the right decision, it still requires actually saying “no”. How do we make saying “no” a little bit easier?
11 steps to softening the “no”:
Get to know your “yes”- Before you can get really good at declining offers you need to understand what you want to say “yes” to. What are the things in your life that take priority and then say “yes” to those first. Otherwise you may end up saying “no” them by default.
Practice- The first time you say “no” you may find it difficult, but as you work on it and gain more experience it will become easier. Start with small inconsequential requests and move on to larger requests as you develop.
Listen to the request fully and respectfully- Give the person making the request the opportunity to fully articulate the need.
Pause before responding to any request- Take a few moments to think about what is being asked and evaluate it against your other commitments and responsibilities. Determine if it is a “should” or a “could”. I have a friend who never agrees to anything immediately when asked. Her response is always “let me check on a few things and get back to you”. This gives her the opportunity to fully vet each request and when she does accept a request she is fully committed.
Simply say “no” (or as simply as possible)- When you determine that you cannot accept a request respond with a clear decline. Do not try to soften the response by being vague or cryptic. Either you can or you cannot do what is requested.
Recognize your time is your time and it is valuable- Each request is taking something from you, your time, and that has value to it. Know your priorities and what you can realistically accept.
When appropriate give a brief reason for declining- It is important to be honest and when appropriate you can share why you are unable to accept the request. People will respect your directness.
But don’t feel obligated to explain- You are in control of your life and your reasons for declining are your own. You do not need to justify or be confrontational when you decline.
Script it out- When you know a specific unrealistic request is coming you can prepare by writing out a response ahead of time. Or you can respond to a request through email or text which will give you a chance to fine tune and wordsmith your response.
Have alternatives- A great way to decline a request is to couple that “no” with alternative options. Maybe you cannot help but could Sally?
Finally, stay firm- Once you have made a decision stand your ground and stay committed. A good decision made after deliberation shouldn’t be changed in the heat of the moment.
Whatever steps you choose and use know that you are making a decision for yourself to prioritize what is important to you. Nobody has control or power over that. Say “no”…firmly, frequently and with respect.